coped from yimeng's blog.. LOVE YOU GALS<3
whoo! finishing up with my hundred over pieces of surveys to collate.. wonder how's amy doing? now i realise how tiring it is for those survey collaters or wat nots.. omg la.. staring at the com and like counting and counting and counting...
i'll NEVER aspire to be an accountant!
dragged out of bed this morning to go grandpa's house.. feels weird when i step in and find that my grandpa is not sitting on the chair watching tv and smiling so happily when he sees me or something... instead i see this tablet beside the tv.. getting use to it seems difficult..
at least for me..
next had a long long talk from my auntie... CRAPSHIT! dragged my mum and aunt in..wth.
honestly.. WHO WILL TALK BAD BOUT HER BROTHER INFRONT OF HER BROTHER'S CHILD?
wth.. just cause my dad wasnt around when grandpa died and u were the only child that was present crying badly beside the hospital bed, u have the honour of being called the most fillial child and dad as some freak ass who only arrived 3rd day into the funeral.. it's not like he was out to play or anything, it's not like he can fly back to singapore from the states within like minutes.. it's not like ur the only one crying in the hospital.. it's not like ur the only one that misses grandpa.. it's not like ut the only one who actually cared bout him..
it's not like ur the only PERFECT PERSON in the world..
sometimes i really wonder how someone can actually blind herself out on all the good side of a person.. the good things that one person can do and love to literally niao on the bad points all the time.. yes he is rash yes he is at times irrational.. but he is my dad and u have no bloody rights to talk about him like that infront of my face and my mum.. so what if ur divorced and have no freakin husband to care bout.. everyone have feelings and so do i.. can't u actually just get off that freakin high horse of urs for once and look at things in the normal way and not onesided all the time?
can't anyone get tired from being lopsided all the time..
even with grandmere there u still scold her only son left like that.. like as if he was not worth anything.. like he was the dumbest thing on earth.. and u still say that u are the most fillial child..
even seeing mum rushing here and there taking care of grandpere when he was still around u still dared to say that we never once came home and took care of anyone..
even after all the positive things that ur darn eyes have seen the past freakin 60 yrs of ur life.. be it ur OWN BROTHER or anyone else.. u chose to remember those minor details and continue ur life by bringing them up over and over again and gloat over something that is totally irrelavent..
can u get a life and look at the bigger picture around u?
so what if u paid for two of grandpere's grandest birthday dinners.. i don't see the point of u not paying since ur like the oldest? and it's not like as if dad and aunt didn't pay for those so called minor ones that we had for the past 20 yrs?
so wat if ur the one that brings grandpere and grandmere out on holidays.. it's not like we didn't follow.. it's not like u could just dunk the office here unattended..
so what if everything that u do just seem to be right.. that doesn't mean that watever others do are wrong..
do u actually want the entire family broken up into bits and pieces.. everyone away and out of the place and u having control of practically every single aspect then u'll be happy? do u need to baske urself in the glory of being known as the most fillial piety child and critisise everything that ur other siblings have done.. do u need to pretend that u are the master of the house once grandpere is gone.. do u need to keep living in the past and drag ppl along with you.. do u actually have no sensors that tell u how hurt others can get.. do u have no common sense to not think that u are the only on on earth alive that have parents..
is it necessary for all this to be done just to settle grandpere's will.. can't u just respect his decisions for once.. can't u just listen and shut up for a moment? can't u just stop tearing everything apart until everyone is hurt and bleeding and u stand amongst us unhurt and smiling..
mum cried..
GREAT
more problems..
more me being stuck in the freakin middle of all this..
can't ppl just look at the positive side of others and endure their bad points?
is it so difficult to accept someone different from u?
even if it were family? someone u have blood relations to?
can't everyone just see each others as an entirely different individual and actually learn to ACCEPT?
what do u expect me to do? she's my sister no matter how bad she may seem.. he's my father no matter how irrational he is.. it is not like u are totally accepted by everybody.. wat are u trying to do when u try to tear ppl apart from their KIN.. i dun care if u like them or not..
i dun care..
but if u hurt them u get it from me..
but then again u are related to me..
how the hell am i suppose to 'get back' at u without hurting myself and the ppl around me first..
is it that difficult to try and hold a family together? that difficult to mend all these holes and cracks here and there..
accept is just a 6 lettered word... wat's the difficulty of this?
honestly.. this might just get even more interesting as 家春秋 and all those soap dramas..